being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
