I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
