mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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