What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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