I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
