I need help removing her.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize