I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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