So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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