my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
