I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
