Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize