I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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