i permit you to call me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
