Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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