i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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