Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
