You're completely useless in the revolution.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
