The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize