So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
