i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
