I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
