At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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