does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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