i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We're too hungover to prance.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
