I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
