What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
