Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
