nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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