hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
