whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
bring money and cleavage
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
