ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
