My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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