Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
