I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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