i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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