Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
