Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
