When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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