I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
