Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
