Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
