His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dick very happy bro
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize