I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
