Someone shit on the floor
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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