My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
