Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
