just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
