My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
