Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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