I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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