i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
