So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
