I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
