Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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