why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
