Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
