remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
