i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
