I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
