the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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