K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
