My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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