I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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