So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize