is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
