I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize