I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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