The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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