I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize