i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
