I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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