last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
