I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
