2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
