Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
