You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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